When I was much younger, my mother used to say to me that I’d lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on. I believed this could quite probably be true; I knew that I did possess an undeniable knack of ‘putting things down’ as Mum put it. When I first got my Tile Slim I blue-tacked it to my forehead for a day or so, rendering me a close approximation of Rimmer from Red Dwarf – but as ridiculous as I looked I was finally able to rest assured that I wouldn’t loose my head. Some readers, by now, may have concluded i did, however, lose my mind. Rest assured, I didn’t really, for actually fact do this. It’s called creative license. All jokes aside, the acquisition of these cute little gadgets that use bluetooth and your phone to help find your shizzles have changed my life! No longer do I need to ask other members of the household where the heck my keys are. Or my wallet. Or my car…

The tile slips thinly into my wallet and on tidily onto my keyring and all I need to do, instead of turning the house upside down to find one or other when I am on my way out, causing a mess and lateness is to ‘ping’ it from my iPhone and it beeps till I locate it – too easy! I know what you’re thinking… what if I can’t find my iPhone; and for some inexplicable reason I set it to silent so even when I insist my cohabitant rings it for me it still lies elusively in amongst the cushions on the couch, smugly and silently laughing at my incompetence. Well, ha – provided I have either the tile on my keys or the one in my wallet then, hey presto, push the little button on the tile and my phone will make a locator beacon noise – whether it’s turned on silent or not! Amazing.

I got another tile. I put it in the car because, as I am quite clearly slowing losing my mind, I have on more than one occasion parked my car on a suburban street near my work (yay, free parking!) only to leave work eight or so hours later to head off in completely the wrong direction to get in the car. Now I check my phone as I leave work to see where it last “saw” the “Car Tile” (as I have helpfully named it – you can name each tile you own on the app) and can now assuredly stride off in the right direction and head home, instead of wandering the streets like a strangely office-attired homeless person. I am sure there’s a million-and-one other uses people can find for these cool little devices – and only the most anally retentive tidy minded people who never, ever, lose anything would find them superfluous to their lives. I imagine a utopia where every single thing I own is tiled and I’ll never lose anything ever again. Including a future where one of these things can be implanted into my mind so as to stave off the seemingly inevitable loss of it. Some may say it’s too late.

TILE SLIM is available through JB Hi-Fi, Harvey Norman and The Warehouse RRP Single $59.99. or 4 Pack – $199.00

TILE MATE is available through JB Hi-Fi, Harvey Norman and The Warehouse RRP Single $49.00 or 4 Pack – $149.99